You Know You Have a Chronic Illness When…

Let’s face it. . . chronic illness can have its humorous moments if we look for them. Feel free to add yours below in the comments. We’d love to giggle along with you! Some of these references may be a little dated, but you’ll chuckle at them 🙂

 

  • You bawled when the television show ER went off the air because it was the only TV show where you actually felt like you understood all the technology talk.
  • When you hear the term “Club Med” you automatically think of the hospital.
  • When you are in the hospital you keep imagining people being intimate behind closed doors because you’ve watched too many episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.
  • You ask your child to open the “child-proof” bottles of medicine because your hands are too sore.
  • Your medical records have to be transported on a cart.
  • To entertain people at parties you recite the side effects of medications as if you are the voice over on a commercial.
  • Your favorite Oprah program is when Dr. Oz is on.
  • The pharmacist brings your medications to the counter without you having to give him your name.
  • To get rid of boredom on road trips, your whole family can go through the alphabet and name a drug that starts with each letter of the alphabet.
  • When you’re unable to sleep because of pain, you watch “The Jerry Springer Show” or a “The Real Housewives” and feel like you actually have a life.
  • Your spelling has improved dramatically, especially on words like “fibromyalgia” and “osteoporosis.”
  • When anyone around you has an accident you have a complete First Aid kit of bandages, ointments, sanitizers, etc.
  • Or you’ve been “Around the World in Thirty Minutes” with CNN’s Headline News 57 times in one sitting.
  • You earn $20 cash back a month from your pharmacy’s bonus points.
  • You have a panic attack in public and say, “Praise God this is only the fourth one today!”
  • You’re invited to the wedding of the gal who works at the hospital lab.
  • Someone says, “You are looking so good” and it actually makes you feel a bit frustrated, rather than flattered.
  • You’re child thinks watching you do injections of medication is “cool.”
  • You have a flashback and don’t know what happened and can honestly say, “I don’t know where I was or what I was doing but I’ll make something up if you’d like.”
  • You carry hand-sanitizer with you everywhere and aren’t afraid to use it.
  • You shake hands with your left hand so it throws people off enough that they don’t squeeze your hand.
  • You know every scripture about healing and can finish people’s sentences when they try to quote them to you.
  • The teen children of your friends call to see if they could interview you for a paper in their health class.
  • It’s more fun to find “cute pajamas” than actual clothes.
  • You actually enjoy talking to telemarketers because they can’t really hang up on you and you can use them for a therapy session.
  • You leave up “Get Well” cards on your mantel for months because… you’re still hoping the well wishes come true.

Reprinted with permission of author, Lisa Copen, Copyright 2009. Find out more about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and their 5-day virtual conference at http://www.invisibleillness.com

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